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September 28th, 2005
01:30 am - No time
I have been way too busy latley. Why am I so fucking stupis. I do not understand a thing that is happening in my Chemistry or Electrical Engineering class and I am almost 100% sure that I will und up with a D or an F in both. I want out. Why the fuck am I still in them if it is not my major anymore. How do they expect us to know what major we want when we come into college when we have never had a chance to take classes like these before? I don't care how many fucking blue ribbons Stevenson won, they completley faild me in every way possible. I am not at all prepared for college. I was able to make my way through that school without learning a thing from them.
The worst part is I feel like I am getting in one of those antisocial moods again. At the begining of senior year i did that to myself when I was worried about what college to go to and I feel like the stress here is doing that to me again. I need to make new friends here but I am to god damn busy and stressed. I need to find some business clubs to join but for some reason I am not. My entire week is just looking forward to the weekends here which I love.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/uhoh.gif) screwed
Current Music: I Miss You - Blink 182
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September 27th, 2005
10:28 pm - I want Chipotle so bad
So, it is a big month for chipotle and I am so excited. U of I Chipotle
is suppose to open in October (which I do not think will happen based
on current progress) and they just made anothey anouncment. McDonalds
anounced that they will be spinning off Chiptole with an IPO early in
the first quarter of 2006. I can not wait to buy myself some Chipotle
stock. The only thing that I am worried about is that pressure from
investors will ruin Chipotle. If investors force them to go with
cheaper ingridients and shrink the buritos, Chipotle is headed for
trouble. Here is the link
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September 20th, 2005
12:55 pm - First update that is not at a wierd time
Wow, so it is the middle of the day and I am actually updating my livejournal. That is kind of out of character for me. I am back from my one class of the day and just had lunch. IT was serving shit mixed with vomit so I decided to eat out which was definatley the right choice. I had lunch at Antonio's and it was pretty damn good. I never knew that you could put tortalini on pizza and have it actually taste good. Learn something new every day....
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/bigwink.gif) satisfied
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12:47 am - My first college test
So i had my first test tonight. I hope there is a curve on it.... It
was for my electrical engineering class which i have no clue why i am
in since i changed my major to finance but whatever. I am also in a
good mood becuase I almost have a free ipod. I was reading an article
in the new york times about the site that gives away free ipods (the
one that everyone thinks is some kind of scam) and supposedly it is not
a scam. All you have to do is sign up for one of the offers and then
get 5 friends to do the same. I signed up for Rapsody Music service
which cost me like $5 or something and I was planning on canceling it
right away but I actually kind of like it. I also get 3 people here to
sign up also so all I need is two more people and then I will know if
it is a scam or not.
I'll let you guys know (and if you want to try it, here is the link)
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September 18th, 2005
03:42 am - So much happening
I have been so busy. No down time. It has been so much fun. I really don't have time to tell you about it but just remember one thing....October 8th is Foam party and you all should come down and visit me that weekend.
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September 11th, 2005
12:38 pm - Another weekend gone
This weekend was very low key. We just chilled and had a great time. U of I won in football again. 2 and 0. Nice. Dan Wolff is down here although I have no clue where he is. I lost him last night. Maybe I should find him. I also got to see Jodi which made me very happy. I miss her so much. I can't wait till she goes here next year (and lives in IT). I have AEPi football practice at 4 and should also do some homework.
-Evan
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September 8th, 2005
02:20 pm - I did it
Good news. I made it through a week without hating school. That means this weekend is going to be even better than all of the others. College is so much more than just the classes. I think what I am learning in my classes is trivial to what I am learning in general. I am living by myself and I am 100% completely responsible for everything. It can be stressful at points, but I love it.
On the same note, I was also thinking about my Jewish Identity. Anyone who knows me, knows I am not very observant but I love the identity and culture of it. Here at college, there are no parents to try to push religion on you (not that my parents ever did) but I realized that being Jewish is what I want to be. It is my heritage and I get angry to see people just throw it away.
In general though, things have been great here. I am starting to hate AEPi football, but I love going to the practices because the guys are cool. I honestly think we have one of the best pledge classes ever. I am planning on starting the weekend off right tonight so I should go get my Homework done. Tomorrow Shabbat Dinner at Hillel. Anyone else in? (I think the real question is does anyone form U of I even read my LJ?). This weekend might be kind of slow because it is sorority RUSH here but we will make the best of it (and get with the girls while they are depressed and vulnerable).
-Peace
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/smile.gif) cheerful
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September 6th, 2005
01:07 pm - I love college agian
So I see a trend here. After every weekend I love college. After every week, I hate college. This week will hopefully be different. Dan, Mollie and Cogan were the first to visit me. We had a crazy fun time. I miss peopel from home but I am making so many new friends. If you have not booked a date to come visit me, you better do that now. My weekends are really booking up here. Rumor has it Dan Wolff is comming back this weekend, and who knows he may even get a bid from AEPi at this point ;).
On an AEPi note, we started football and anyone who knows me knows I do not do the whole football thing. With pledge football though, they do not take no for an answer:
Smitty: Evan, get open the ball is comming to you.
Me: I don't catch
Smitty: You WILL catch the ball unless you want it to hit you in the face.
Long story short, there was a ball comming really fast at my face and I actually caught it. This next part is even more amazing. I ran it in for a TD. NICE.
-Evan
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/ohcrap.gif) sore
Current Music: Laid-James
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August 31st, 2005
10:48 pm - I miss everyone...
So today I realized that i do miss home. I miss my friends. You guys are all amazing. You were always there to get me out of bed when I should be out having fun and always there to no matter what. Don't get me wrong, I love college and I am making tons of friends but right now I just want all of you around here with me. Even when we were just sitting at my house watching a movie or TV we had so much fun.
This all came out of the worst day of my life ever. I had 6 straight hours of class. 4 of them were engineering. The engineering came right after Calc. I realized I hate calc. Then I got to my engineering class and I realizaed that I do not want to do engineering. What the hell was I thinking. So I am done with engineering. I think I might try acounting. I have no clue though. Kind of scary. This is the rest of my life.
Ahhhh....time to go lay in bed depressed again.
Current Mood: scared
Current Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Aeroplane
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August 28th, 2005
09:08 am - Both sides are fun...
So it is 9am and I am just getting back to my dorm room. I've said how the parties are great and everything but tonight I had so much fun being up till 9 and we were not even partying. We were all sitting around and talking and then we decided to go lay on the quad. From 5 am until 9 am we just laid on the quad (did you know there is a sprinkler system that goes on at night?!?). It was just such a chill night hanging with chill people. Who knows where this one is heading. I am along for the ride though.
PS - I broke my phone again and they are sending me a new one in the mail so that means I need everyones phone numbers becuase my screen is broken and I can not see them. So everyone, please leave you number in this form:
Evan Epstein
847-414-0503 (c)
847-913-9567 (h)
217-278-8413 (dorm)
Thanks
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/googlyeyes.gif) optimistic
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August 24th, 2005
12:51 am - The College Life
I love college. I am meeting some really cool people both guys and girls. It has been interesting. People are just liek at home though. Some you don't understand, and others you can just naturally talk to and chill with. Give me a call. I miss alll of you. Come visit.
Current Mood: cheerful
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August 20th, 2005
03:43 am - i heart college
deleted
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August 17th, 2005
11:11 pm - BBYO
So as I am laying in bed I am thinking a lot about BBYO and how I am totally out of it now. It seems to me like BBYO is the one thing in my life that I have ever been so passonite about. My goal was to pass onto everyone else the experiences that BBYO gave me. My entire personal statment was about BBYO that got me into college but yet when I am in college I will have nothing to do with BBYO. This is kind of scary. I can not handle being out of power either. I see things wrong already that I want to fix. How can a board member be resigning so early in the year. How can a new one just be assigned? How can YLTC be canceled and no one really cares. YLTC is what got me into bbyo and if it had not happened there would be no me.
Tonight some people said something that really made me feel like all the work I did was worth something. I did not sleep whole nights because of BBYO and this one comment just made me feel like it was worth it. THey mententioned how when they joined it was just me and they think of me as MR BBYO or Mr. AZA. This makes me feel like I have acomplished something. Thanks.
If YLTC is canceled the new board has failed already. You all should resign. The point of the board is to represent the members. Staff always "knows what is best" but you were elceted to fight for what the people want. You have the power and you will win. If you can not even make YLTC happen why do you exist? I am sorry if I am being harsh but I spent 24/7 working to bring BBYO in Chicago back up and I will not sit and watch the board do nothing. If you are not going to put in the same effort then you can just resign now also.
AHHHHHHHH
Once an ALeph, always an Aleph...Frats,
ALEPH Evan Joseph Epstein
4th Regional Kohen Godol
Great Midwest Region BBYO
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10:37 pm - Friends
I was so excite to leave for college and then tonight. So many goodbye's. So many people saying they will visit but I know that most of them really won't. I hope they prove me wrong. So many people called and said goodbye. When I was at Chipotle an aquientance came and said bye and we shared a few words. Dan, Mollie and Illisa stopped by. Mari, Jodi, Einav, Mollie, Emily, Becca, and Niki stopped by and we talked. I just could not walk away. Angelica called me and Carla texted me. I am so happy I have so many people who care about me and who I care about.
Sometimes I look at the people who I say I am friends with and I see who is really there. Who I can depend on. Thanks guys. I will miss all of you so much and it will be hard to find a mosaic of friends who have the same amount of heart as you guys.
As I sit here, I am just reflecting on things like the fact that I have know Einav for 7 years. She was the little girl next door at one point. I look back on friendships I wish I developed more and other friend ships that started last year but now ars so strong. Frienships that were strong and have faded and also missed moments when I wish I had expressed my feelings. You always look back and say you should have done something but the moment is never right. Sometimes I feel like I never have the right moments. Do I not create them or am I just unlucky? Who knows. When I get to college I want to start over. A new bolder more risktaking Evan. Maybe I will just become the asshole that I hate or maybe it will work. Only time can tell.
On a more me note....wow, that entry was so not normal me. A start to college me? or will there be no difference? There I go agian. I know one thing though. I will not miss that opritunity to take action and make it happen in college.
Current Mood: thoughtful
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July 30th, 2005
02:43 pm - BBQ
I just got back from an AEPi Rush BBQ. It was pretty cool. Funny group of guys. Highlight was definatley when one guy tried to squirt ketchup from the grill all the way onto a burger that a guy was holding in the pool. Best part was that he actually got some of the ketchup on the burger.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/laugh.gif) amused
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06:03 am - Random Day/Night/Day
Do yesterday (friday) I woke up at 11:30 and headed up to Horner to visit. First peron I see is Glassman. I have missed him. He was rambeling about something so I stole his chicken finger and headed to the office. I then met chuck there. He gave me and Cogan vister passes. Mine said I was visiting "Around" and Cogan's said "Anywhere". I saw Ilissa, Mollie and Anna Lasco there. If any of the horner kids ask, yes, I am Anna's boyfriend. One of the unit heads who I have only met once before (Isaac) Is a dick and needs to get laid really baddly. I lvoe most of the people up there.
Next I wanted two DVD's and dan came over. He keeps thinking he got his tounsils out but really it was just wisdom teeth.
Later we met up with Jodi and crew and they all came back to me house. We played N64 and then most of them left. Next Alissa came over and I called her a slut a couple of times. (Not that she is, more just that she was hooking up with Nati). Anyhow, They left and me and Cogan played Mario Kart and Mario Golf until 5 AM. We proceded to go to McDonalds for breakfast.
I determined that my day went full circle. When I arrived at camp on friday, I was greeted with a bitchy, "Why are you here?" from a counciller who will remain nameless *****cough**Sa***cough***m***cough***Goodman***Cough and when I entered McDonalds at 5 AM they looked at me like, "Why the fuck are you here" *****cough******Jose******cough so that was the circle of my day.
My parents official left for Arizona so my first order of buisness is to take off my clothes and sleep naked. GOodnight all.
Current Mood: happy
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July 13th, 2005
04:12 am - Good news
I am home and no longer freaking out. Since we last spoke, I found out
my roommates, got an F-ing amazing schedual, realized how friendly
everyone is, got my AP exam scores back and kicked ass on them.
I got a 5 in AP Calc AB, a 5 in AP Enviro and a 4 in AP Photo.
This means that I passed out of calc one which also means that I only have math 4 days a weak now. Here is my schedual.
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Monday
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Tuesday
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Wednesday
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Thursday
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Friday
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9 AM
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HIST 141 AL1
(Western
Civ to 1660)
34044
Foellinger Auditorium
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HIST 141 AL1
(Western
Civ to 1660)
34044
Foellinger Auditorium
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10 AM
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HIST 141 ADS
(Western
Civ to 1660)
41491
Lincoln Hall 398
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11 AM
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CHEM 102 34D
(Chemistry 1)
36250
Chemistry Annex 9
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CHEM 102 34D
(Chemistry 1)
36250
Chemistry Annex 9
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CHEM 102 34D
(Chemistry 1)
36250
Chemistry Annex 9
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CHEM 102 34D
(Chemistry 1)
36250
Chemistry Annex 9
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12 PM
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MATH 230 BL1
(Calculus 2)
35111
Animal Sciences Lab
150
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MATH 230 BD4
(Calculus 2)
34522
Altgeld Hall 343
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MATH 230 BL1
(Calculus 2)
35111
Animal Sciences Lab
150
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MATH 230 BD4
(Calculus 2)
34522
Altgeld Hall 343
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1 PM
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ECE 110 BL1
(Intro to Electrical
Engrg)
36790
Everett Lab 151
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ECE 110 BL1
(Intro to Electrical
Engrg)
36790
Everett Lab 151
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ECE 110 BL1
(Intro to Electrical
Engrg)
36790
Everett Lab 151
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2 PM
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ECE 110 BB2
(Intro to Electrical
Engrg)
36794
Everett Lab 146
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CHEM 103 99
(Chemistry Lab 1)
36571
Chemistry Annex 1
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3 PM
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ENG 100 EEG
(Engineering
Lecture)
34196
Altgeld Hall 159
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4 PM
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July 12th, 2005
03:35 am - 3:30 and I can not sleep
SO right now it is 3:30 AM and I am down at U of I for orientation. I am in a hotel room with my mom and sister and I can not sleep. I wnt to sleep at !! and woke up at 1:00 AM when I had a dream about fluncking out of college. I guess sitting here tonight, it has really just sunck in that I am going to college. I am going to be living away from home for the first time and I am not really going with a good friend or anything. It is a big step i guess because I never did overnight camp. The closest I ever came was last year going to ILTC and IC and that was only a month away from home.
In another month I will be moving down here and everything will be different. This will be my home. This unfarmilar place. Back in BG I was at the top. I was a senior. I was Regional President. I had everything. Now I am comming down to U of I and I will just be a lonley freshman. I am not the head of anything and no one will know who I am. It almost makes you wonder what you did all that work for in high school climbing the social latter just to start back on the bottom. I feel like every second I am down here, I know less and less who I am and where I want to go in life. I mean, I got D's in calculus in HS. HOw the fuck am I going to become an engineer.
THe worst part is registration tommorow. Every class is closed. I am so fucked. I am going to have 8 AM classes at least 5 times a week and it is looking like maybe even 5 times a weet. Considering how bad I am at mornings I think this is going to be really bad. I will miss them, sleep through them and ditch them making my fluncking out dream a reality. I guess I am just trying to get all my fears out now so I can finally go to sleep but I do not see that happening. Peace out for now.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ibrad/bigsmile.gif) anxious
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June 28th, 2005
02:11 am - No one is here anymore....
SO I just went to read my friends live hournals and none of the people who use to update constanly do anymore. I kinda miss it.
Current Mood: let down
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01:46 am - I am back.
So I stopped useing live journal for many reasons but mostly it was becuuse I felt that it was causing way to many problems. Now I am back to livejournal though because of a conversation that I had to night. I have a few ground rules though:
a) Never ask me about my live journal. I will give you examples of allowed and non allowed:
allowed: Hey, I heard you got into U of I! Are you excited?
not allowed: What did you mean by that post?
If you do not understand something I said, you probably are not suppose to. If you must ask, do so in comment form so I can ignore you if I want to. I will give one example. This girl who use to sit at my math table, let's just call her Amy Sommers, use to walk into math and in front of my entire table make a comment like, "Evan, you seemed sad in your live journal post yesterday. Did you ever solve that genitle herpes problem?" ----- I do not want everyone at my math table to know that! Live journal is an unspoken thing. If you have a solution for my genitle herpes problem, feel free to comment to my entry about it but do not bring it up in math in front of the whole table! On another note, Amy, if you are reading this, sorry. You were just the one who broke the unspoken rule the most. It was not only you. (and don't try to talk to me about this!)
Anyhow, to start off right, tonight was a lot of fun. I miss the Skokie/Evanston/Wilmett/Winetka people. The night started by me and Dan walking in to Sam's house and him being like, "What the fuck are you doing here?" Spector invited us there but never told sam. Spector showed up shortly and then all of us (including some forgien exchange student from Russia) went on to Spectors. Kat, Zack, Offer, Emma and I am probably forgetting someone showed up soon. I love talking with Kat. She is so not bitchy like most girls. Anyhow, we all sat around and talked and had a good time.
Highlight of the night was probably when I called Sam an asshole. You need a little bit of Sam being an asshoel but sometimes you just get a little to much and have to throw his hat in the plants to feel better. My anger really started to build when he did not tell Spector to save me pizza when he called him. When you get between me and peperoni pizza, it all goes down hill.
Well this entry is way longert than I like mine to be so I am going to rap it up. Me and offer talked about U of I and IT and it in some ways helped ease anxiety about college but in other ways made me more anxious.
p.s. I do not think the face next to the mood properly represents how I am feeling. It should be more of a forced smile than a frown with flared eyebrows.
Current Mood: anxious
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itsmethee's journal